I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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