How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
