she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
