dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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