don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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