I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
