Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
