So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
