I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
