i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
