In the future we'll all be gay
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
