WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
