I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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