Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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