She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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