So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
