I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
BRING THE BAGELS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
