i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
this is an emotional support booty call
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
