is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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