But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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