I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
