I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
