I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
