its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
