Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize
