Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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