bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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