i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
