I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
