White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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