are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
