my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
NoShamevember. You game?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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