I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
