Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
this beer tastes like vomit already
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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