sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
