she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
birth control should be required to get into college
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
