im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i believe in u and ur pee
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
