in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
