I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
