I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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