Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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