How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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