your thong is hanging out like whoa
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
