Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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