cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
