You're completely useless in the revolution.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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