are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
