Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
