I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
