you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
