He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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